Cleo Bachelor of the year 2010

Today the 50 finalists of the 'Cleo Bachelor of the Year 2010' were announced. Let's take a look at them shall we?

Bachelor #1: Curtis Stone, age 34. Chef on 'Oprah' and 'Surfing the menu'.

Bachelor #2: Firass Dirani, age 26. Actor, Underbelly.

Winner of best sales pitch.
Q: Sell yourself in a sentence
A: One male, caramel in colour, 1983 model, body in good condition, super-charged, genuine interior, dent on rear, runs smooth, always garaged, very reliable, reluctant sale.

Bachelor #3: Owen Wright, age 20. Surfer. Really boring.
Bachelor #4: Felix Forest, age 24. Runs clothing labels Bondi Shorts, and Felix Forest.
Winner of wankiest arty photo.


Bachelor #5: Rob Farnham, age 28. Musician, singer songwriter for band 'Lanstrum'. John Farnham's son.
Bachelor #6: Andy Clemmensen, age 21. Bassist, singer, for band 'Short Stack'.
Winner of the 'Hottest apparent douche' award.


Bachelor #7: John Steffensen, age 27. Athlete.
Bachelor #8: Greg Bishop, age 30. Firefighter and lifeguard.
Bachelor #9: Andrew Lees, age 24. Actor, 'The Pacific'.

Joint winners of the 'Haven't we seen you you here before?' award:
Bachelor #10: James Kerley, age 28. Radio and T.V host.
Bachelor #11: Tom Waterhouse, age 27. Bookmaker.
Bachelor #12: James Tobin, age 30. T.V presenter and reporter.

Winner of the 'Wait, what do you do?' award:
Bachelor #13: Jarod Green, age 28. Owner of 'The Handsomity institute' and scriptwriter. Turns out he writes 'Beached az'.

Bachelor #14: Benjamin Silvester, age 28. Entrepreneur.
Q: Best cure for a hangover?
A: ZICO Pure Coconut Water.
Clearly, someone looks after that brand...

Bachelor #15: Ross Wallman, age 23. Radio announcer in Perth.
A shout out to Nan:
Q: Where do you hope to be in 5 years time?
A: It doesn’t matter where I am, as long I’m with the people I love, doing something I enjoy. However, I would need to live close to my Nan who helps me with my ironing.

Bachelor #16: Dan Trotter, age 34. Co-owner and and co-host of T.V. show '2 Dans fishing'.
Bachelor #17: Karl Schlothauer, age 28. Owner of the Pocket Bar in Sydney.
Bachelor #18: Angus Gruzman, age 27. DJ and record company owner.
Bachelor #19: Mitch Langerak, age 21. Footballer for Melbourne Victory FC.
Bachelor #20: Didier Cohen, age 24. 'Actor' (Can't find in what) and ambassador (or 'model') for Industrie clothing. Rumoured at one point to have turned Ruby Rose.
Bachelor #21: Jordan Nguyen, age 25. PhD student.

Bachelor #22: Dave Dawes, age 26. Physiotherapist and Golf marketer.
He's a keeper ladies...
Q: Any secret talents?
A: Pathologically fast eater, plus I can get a condom on my head.

Bachelor #23: Todd Finlay, age 27. Personal trainer and model.
Bachelor #24: Jonathan Field, age 27. Graphic designer and model.
Awwww... Weird.
Q: If you could be any woman for a day, who would you be?
A: Not quite a woman, but my three-year-old niece. She lives in this world of fire-breathing dragons, princesses, fairies, bear hunts and magic!

Bachelor #25: Tom Steinfort, age 25. Reporter for channel 9.
Winner of the 'Smarmy photo award'.


Bachelor #26: Mark Vass, age 23. Sugar cane farmer and Full Noise Music Festival organiser.
Bachelor #27: Rob Mills, age 28. Surprisingly talented performer.
Bachelor #28: Matthew McDonell, age 27. Project manager at MTV.
Bachelor #29: Blake Headland, age 26. Fabric wholesaler.
Bachelor #30: Craig Silvey, age 27. Author, 'Jasper Jones'.
Q: Most romantic thing you’ve ever done?
A: It’s quite amazing actually. I booked an impulsive flight to Venice. We glided on a gondola, had wine and cheese, were serenaded by a Latvian cellist and after dinner, we took a romantic stroll along the canals. Best Mother’s Day ever.

Q: Worst dating experience?
A: See above.

Bachelor #31: Samuel Clark, age 22. Actor, 'Neighbours'.
Bachelor #32: Luke Burgess, age 33. Chef and food photographer.
Bachelor #33: Cameron McKensie-McHarg, age 29. Rower and financial advisor.
Bachelor #34: Daniel Garofali, age 23. Model and dancer.
Bachelor #35: Richard Ramsden, age 31. Private equity associate.
Winner of the 'Don Draper sartorial splendour' award.


Bachelor #36: Adriano Zumbo, age 28. Patissier.
Bachelor #37: Royce Akers, age 31. Musician in band 'Hot little hands', editor at Vice magazine.
Bachelor #38: Luke Mitchell, age 24. Actor on 'Home and Away'.
Bachelor #39: Dave Rennick, age 27. Musician in band 'Dappled Cities' and graphic designer.
Bachelor #40: Ashley Ting, age 31. Landscape designer.
Bachelor #41: Michael Osbourne, age 27. AFL player for the Hawthorn Hawks.
Bachelor #42: Kyle Linahan, age 24. Presenter for channel [V], musician.
Bachelor #43: Francis Coady, age 33. Director of the Bondi Short Film Festival.
Bachelor #44: Rama McCabe, age 27. Designer.
Bachelor #45: Aaron Edwards, age 26. AFL player for North Melbourne.
Bachelor #46: George Houvardas, age 28. Actor, 'Packed to the Rafters'.
Bachelor #47: Luke Cheadle, age 23. Surfer and model.

Winner of the 'We didn't ask for your resume' award:
Bachelor #48: Phillipe Sung, age 30. Actor and former investment banker.

Bachelor #49: Jimmy Bawden, age 29. Builder.
Bachelor #50: Jesse Martin, age 28. Sailor and filmmaker.

Tell me if you vote for anyone!

My name IS Superted!

So I added a friend to Facebook this week. While looking at what groups Dan was a member of I found a group called 'Super Ted, the Forgotten Hero.'
Super Ted was a children's cartoon made in Wales in the '80's. Here is the intro:


I was absolutely obsessed with the show when I was 2-4 years old. To the point where I became utterly convinced my name was 'Superted Bert Hayes'.

My Grandad had a screwdriver rigged up to a flashlight and said it was a lie detector. He asked me what my name was and I said 'Superted Bert Hayes' and he made the light flash. I ran out of the room crying "Your machine is broken! My name IS Superted Bert Hayes!!" It's been a family story told at all reunions, weddings and funerals since.

Around the same time I had an imaginary 12 ft purple horse named 'Sickul'. I even took it to a wedding when I was 3. He had to sit outside.
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Tonight, Rage is programmed by comedian Tim Minchin. Tim's brilliant song 'Peace Anthem for Palestine' is not featured but I figured I'd post it here. Song starts at about 40 seconds.

Eurovision!

Here is my Eurovision blog. I wrote it as it happened, so everything is in chronological order.

1st up is Lithuania. A skinny guy in a suit and fedora. $10 says he has Backstreet Boys albums. That vibrato is just so 'Brian'. Hey wow, he's holding fire in his hand.
2nd is Israel. The first of the non-European Eurovision contestants. One of these girls looks like Paul Capsis, the cabaret singer. That's disturbing. "There must be another way" will be in my head come the end of the night.
(Correction, it's the end of the night and it's not. In fact, I can't remember how it goes.)

3rd is France. Way too much class in this entry to win. Apparently she's very popular in Eastern Europe, smart way to win votes sending someone who is popular in most of the voting countries.
4th is Sweden with a song in French and English. Oh dear, it's Popera. She's appalling. Worse at singing normally than in opera. Sounds like a drag queen. This won't be the first time for that tonight. Her facial expressions are priceless. She's very, very scary.

5th is Croatia. Oh good, models and a wind machine. What is with his boots? They ruin his outfit. Oh god, I like this. What is wrong with me?
6th is Portugal. Their set looks like a teletubby threw up. Their percussionist scares me.
Oooohh, Julia is talking to the Marlene Dietrich like French woman. I want her jacket. She's also bought her dog to the interview. That's just bloody awesome.

Iceland's entry is 18 years old and brought out her 1st album at 7. Oh look, a dolphin. This song would so chart here and she looks a little like Taylor Swift.
What is Joh Bailey doing at Eurovision? Oh wait, it's Greece. Oh god, we should all be ashamed. 2 Aussies wrote this. This is quintessential Eurovision. Bad tan and a truly awful song.

Armenia. "Sister, here we go!" Twins! Lasers! Belly Dancing! Costumes! Great!
Russia's entry looks like a sci-fi film. She's aging on the giant screens. Why has Russia entered a horror film?

Azerbaijan. What is a girl like her doing with a guy like him? And why is one of her legs gold? Pyrotechnics and contortionists, how very Eurovision.
Bosnia Herzegovina are clearly fans of My Chemical Romance. They supported the Rolling Stones? Oh, the emoting!
Sam and Julia have fabulous shirts. "Terry Wogan isn't doing it this year." and "Yes, we miss him too".

I want to go to Moldova. They seem like fun. Traditional dancers and some guy with a stick and streamers, randomly waving them in the background.
Malta. Wouldn't it be great if the Maltese got Peter Andre to represent them in Eurovision? This is this woman's 3rd go. Variety people!

Estonia's entry seems to be a doll-like model who can play violin. Estonia host a great Eurovision though.
Denmark. Ronan Keating helped write this. The guy sounds exactly like him too. EXACTLY.
The guitarist and Bassist high fived each other in the middle of the song. Awesome. Singer dropped to his knees for an aerial shot- more awesome.

Germany had Dita Von Teese and 2 Aussie dancers. Singer was American. Apparently they got Dita to tone down her striptease after exposing a little too much flesh in rehearsals.
Sorry, I was too busy looking at Turkey's legs to pay attention to the song. Shakira wannabe, but damn...

Albania seem to have their very own Nikki Webster and a blue coloured gimp and 2 dwarf breakdancing mimes. They really are the best kind of mimes...

Norway! They won tonight with a record points haul. I love that he said after he won that he didn't think he had a great voice and that the violin won him the competition.

Ukraine seem to have procured some gay centurions. "Baby, I could save your world, I'm your anti-crisis girl." Ahh, screwed up English, how I love you. Does she have a superhero costume with 'Anti-Crisis Girl' written on it at home? I certainly hope so.

Romania's singer looks like Natalie Bassingthwaite. Song is called "The Balkan Girls".
The U.K. suck as usual. Girl is ok but jesus, the song is just awful. Sounds like an idol winners song. In fact, sounds like Casey Donovan's winners song. Which is funny given Dianne Warren wrote them both. Boring talentless tosser.

We almost got to the end of the night without rapping and then Finland showed up. He looks like Bono crossed with Eminem.
Final act of the night is Spain. Looks like Linda Evangelista. Flat. Flat. Flat.

Hope you all had a wonderful Eurovision! Particularly everyone who went to Scotty's Eurovision party.

Sunday morning.

First sent to Dave as an email...

9.21am. Grandma: "Wake up, Vanessa (my aunt) will be here this morning and you'll need to be dressed." Lift up covers and realise I'm still dressed from yesterday and my jeans are cutting off the circulation to my legs. Go back to sleep.

9.34am. Grandma: "You aren't up yet." Me: "I've only had 8 and a half hours sleep." "Get up, they'll be here soon."

9.36am. Phone rings. Vanessa has cold. Won't be coming today. I go back to sleep.

9.40am. Grandma: "Can you here that bird call? What is it?" Half-awake, I realise I haven't a clue what it is. Stumble out of bed and out the back door. "You got dressed quickly," says Grandma. Cat follows us out. Lies on my feet. Bird calls again. No idea what it is. Now furious with myself, I go to the computer to look up MP3s of honeyeaters. Cat follows me. Lies on my feet.

9.48am. Bird calls again. Sounds like it has the flu... Bird flu! Shut door nearest me and the bird.

9.51am. Realise I have to go to the chemist today. Die a little inside. (They frighten me a little.)

9.54am. Do hair. Grandad remarks I look like a pigeon. I think I look like an oriental hooker. Tell Grandad he looks like a koala. He does. Grandad pretends to eat flower arrangment nearest him. "Mal, stop eating my flowers!" yells Grandma, who storms over grumbling.

10.00am. Decide to procrastinate by checking email. "You have holes in your clothes," says Grandad, "and you've put on weight." I wiggle my (apparently) fat arse at him and he leaves for work.

Clips of this week. (Part 1)

Before I start on video clips, I have to bring an ad to every one's attention. Particularly seeing as I keep busting out to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S2tyjeXkE4

I am trying to get through more video clips. Here is part 1 of this week. Tell me if you know any of them. Even if all you want to do is shout at me for my taste in music.

The Offspring were on 2 Saturday's ago. Rage had a wild card special. I really like The Offspring. Not any of there 'Pretty Fly' era but before that was great. Song on this night was 'Gone Away' but a few weeks ago someone played 'The kids aren't alright' and I had it in my head for the whole week.

CSS programmed this week. I came in a little late.

The Number of the Beast by Iron Maiden has come on. I remember in 2002 System of a Down programmed and the bass player, Shavo, did the whole beginning bit to camera. It was very well done. More guys should be able to do that on request. That, and the spoken part of 'Thriller'.

Shakira's 'Wherever, Whenever' -possibly my favourite pop song of the last 20 years. Oh yeah, and she's really hot in this clip... I too, have small breasts no-one could confuse with mountains.

Beyonce's 'Crazy in Love'. Another hot lady with fantastic dancing and an awesome pop song. One of the dancers in this clip is now in the Pussycat Dolls.

The Donnas. A band I just can't get into. Same as the Sahara Hotnights, who were on earlier.

Hole 'Doll parts'. Haters can go to hell. Courtney Love is a goddess, particularly in the 90's. Brodie Dalle from The Distillers thinks so too.

The Kills... 1st mention of this band without the words 'Kate Moss' being said in months.

Sonic Youth... Yeah CSS, couldn't see that one coming.

The Cramps 'Naked girl falling down the stairs' A song I can't place. Perhaps it was in a few 90's movies.

Tilly and the wall. Cool that they have a tap dancer as a percussionist but I couldn't get into them either.

Elastica 'Connection'. Everyone knows the hook in this song, even if they don't realise it.

Bronski Beat remind me of Bros... No idea why.

The Cure 'lullaby'. Hurrah for Robert Smith's appallingly applied make-up. Does his wife wear makeup in the same fashion? CSS possibly 1st band in years to play 'Lullaby' and not 'Close to me' or 'Lovecats'.

CSS now segue from talking about the song 'Ladyfingers" to how disgusting the word 'Fishfingers' are

Kim Wilde's 'Kids in America' awesome...

'Wicked game' Helena Christensen's underwear in this is very unsexy.. Looks vaguely nappyish. How is Chris Isaak still single? Presumably his choice...

K.D. Lang 'Constant Craving'. Good song, but I like 'Summer fling' more.

Transmission now resumed.

Hello there strangers!
I hope everyone has had a wonderful Summer. The weather has certainly been erratic. As I write this it is a chilly 13 degrees. The reason I haven't written in a while is weather related too. Who wants to be sitting in front of a computer when it is over 30 and you are sleepy and hot?

Regular blogging will resume this week. In the meantime here are 12 observations and happenings from the past few weeks. Even if I don't know you very well, don't be afraid to leave a comment!

1. The Oscars were actually bearable this year, and I don't even find Hugh Jackman the least bit attractive.
2. I don't usually pay any attention to the attire of celebrities but this year's Oscar dresses on the whole were very boring. I do however want Angelina Jolie's emerald jewelry. No to Brad Pitt hanging around with them though. Gosh! Two of the sexiest men alive and I don't think they are hot...
   
3. Follow up observation: One could argue I'm not a woman but an android.
4. My year-long hiatus of listening to Triple J is over. Enjoying it again for the most part.
   
5. My friend Jess actually saw the multiple Razzie winning 'I know who killed me' starring Lindsay Lohan. Sometimes I worry for the sanity of my friends.
6. In other news, I figured out that I saw 2 movies in the last year at the cinema. 'Speed Racer' and 'Twilight'. On second thoughts, disregard number 5 on this list.
7. Thanks to 'Spicks and Specks' on the ABC I now know what the words to 'Ca Plane Pour Moi' mean. The song now makes LESS sense.
8. My friend Roslyn Mertin used to sing the words to 'Ca Plane Pour Moi' as 'Smack my bum hard'. This, while embarrassing, still makes more sense than the original.
9. I went to Impact Comics for the first time since they moved out of Impact Records a few years back. Do you think they would mind if I moved in?
   
10. I've become utterly obsessed about xkcd comics. Here is a link to one of my favourites. www.xkcd.com/290/
    
11. I saw my first Brown Snake of the season- 5 months after I would normally spot my first. More evidence of the erratic weather patterns this past year.
12. I finally got around to seeing 'The Devil Wears Prada' and it was a lot better than I was expecting. B+

What the hell is up with Eli Stone?

Over the Summer, Channel Seven/Prime is showing Eli Stone twice a week.

I've been looking forward to seeing Eli Stone since it started airing in America. I've had a policy of not downloading shows because I can't stand watching things with poor sound and picture quality. So finally I got my chance.

For those who haven't watched it, Eli Stone is about a lawyer who starts to see visions. He is diagnosed with an inoperable brain aneurysm, but begins to believe he may be a prophet and that his visions are leading him to lead a more ethical life. Instead of taking on the cases of big, morally bankrupt companies, Eli starts taking cases of more deserving regular people. Much like the characters of Boston Legal.

Jonny Lee Miller, who plays Eli Stone is a really charismatic actor who has been in Aeon Flux and Trainspotting. The supporting cast are just as great with Natasha Henstridge and Victor Garber from Alias. But there is a problem with the show, and it's the fault of the writers and the researchers.

Dialogue isn't the problem. The actual lines the actors speak are just as good as any other show on television. When it comes to the cases however, it could be argued that Eli takes the type of cases that clog up American courtrooms unnecessarily with frivolous lawsuits. Of course, Boston Legal do this too, but their cases tend to show that there are two sides to every story and no-one is ever absolutely right. Eli Stone's cases do no such thing.

Take the 1st episode for example. In it, Eli Stone represents a mother and her child in a lawsuit against the manufacturers of a Mumps, Measles, Rubella (MMR) vaccine which the mother says gave her child autism. This very debate has been raging, particularly in America, for the past few years. Celebrities have been getting involved too, with Jenny McCarthy and her boyfriend Jim Carrey leading calls to stop vaccinating children until alternatives can be developed.

Trouble is, the argument that vaccination causes autism has been widely disproved by the scientific community. See: http://health.howstuffworks.com/vaccines-autism.htm
In the episode, the family was given many millions of dollars. Which would no doubt help the family get the best help for the autistic child, but autism is a health condition we do not yet know the cause of. It is a growing, yet so far blameless, problem.

This week on Eli Stone there was a far greater cock-up in the morality department.
Eli re-tried a case he had won 5 years previously. It was a case against a SUV company who made a car that rolled. The passenger had swerved to avoid a "metal thing" and his SUV had rolled. The man ended up in a wheelchair. The police who attended the scene couldn't find anything that the driver may have swerved to miss.

Oh yeah, the guy was also drunk.

Eli ended up settling the case because of a technicality. The drunk driver got millions of dollars. Within the series, this was considered a win for morals. The message seemed to be that if you get in an accident which is your own fault, sue the company. Because driving a car isn't meant to be dangerous.

What utter bollocks.